i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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