We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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