Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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