Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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