Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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