Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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