I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize