Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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