You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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