Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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