So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
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Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
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Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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