I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think people are normalizing furries
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