I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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