So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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