We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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