He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize