I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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