I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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