Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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