Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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