I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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