hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize