if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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