I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize