i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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