We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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