Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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