After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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