It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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