My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize