I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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