I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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