clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize