So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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