haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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