who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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