I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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