Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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