My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize