She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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