Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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