Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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