Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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