So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize