dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
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