he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
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I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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