He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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