Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize