That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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