I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize